Dear Emmanuelle, 1989 called – they want their style back!
All jokes aside, it’s a sad day when you flick through your favourite magazine and realise that you’d rather alphabetise your DVD collection in the dark.
Hooped earrings? No, just no. It’s far too WAG for the snobbish Londoner in me. The only non-chav who can off such jewellery is Beyoncé, and even then it’s not quite right for Vogue Paris. Has the budget been cut for VP? Why are there so many images from back in the day?
We heart Eniko, really we do, but do we really need her in the Beauté section for two consecutive issues? I’m pretty sure we covered bronzing last month, so why the beep is it the main beauty feature this issue? Yet again, she has her breasts on display. I get it now, Emmanuelle likes breasts and apparently thinks this is going to add provocation to Vogue Paris. Newsflash sweetheart, we’re women, we have breasts. Move on!
I have always enjoyed the Bijoux section, which normally features jewels the late (and eternally fabulous) Elizabeth Taylor would have been envious of but no, not this issue. You’re not going to believe this but the editorial opens with an image from a Vogue Nippon circa July 2010. 2010 people! Pure laziness.
The ‘Miss Vogue’ section opens with a pretty, non-offensive editorial that one would find in the magazine supplement with the Sunday papers; the type of editorial you’d flick through whilst waiting for your potatoes to roast. Surprisingly, this was styled by Véronique Didry. “Une Fille Un Style” is back with Isabelle Kountoure.
Mert & Marcus photograph Isabeli Fontana and er.. a can of coke for the issue’s main editorial as styled by Editor-in-chief Emmanuelle Alt. Someone needs to tell Madame Alt that those Moschino trousers are so wrong, they’re almost illegal. Loving the red Blumarine bikini top though. Look, it’s a magazine and we know this is photography, but why does it look so staged?
‘Sea, Air & Sun’ sees Anja Rubik posing with, yes you guessed right, her breasts out. Downtown sees Sasha Pivovarova styled by Joe McKenna and photographed by dream time Inez Van Lamsweerde & Vinoodh Matadin, running around New York looking like a hobo with perfectly-manicured nails. My kind of hobo! Despite the styling being off – sandals and white socks?! – there is a lot of movement in the editorial and with the backdrop of the city, it works. The criticism is that Sasha is constantly looking at the camera. It would have been far more interesting to observe her, not the other way round.
Anastasia Barbieri attempts to pull off a remake of Emmanuelle Alt’s fabulous June/July 2010 editorial featuring Kate Moss, only to fail miserably. The model, Karmen Pedaru, looks sublime, the pieces from designers such as Rodarte, Prada and man-of-the-moment Haider Ackermann are envy-inducing, the location is where we all dream of when stuck in our routine world but, yes another question for the Vogue Paris team, why is Karmen constantly in the same pose? The editorial opens with a sensual and playful image and is then repeated for the next 7 images. Boring.
I don’t even know what to tell you. I cannot even say it’s bad, it’s just nothingness. PG-rated nothingness. Vogue Paris used to have an impact, to push boundaries, to get you talking and thinking, and even refusing to post the images on your blog, but right now, all I’m thinking is a. please dear God let Carine start another magazine and/or b. can someone please suggest a good French-language magazine that is on the same level as Vogue Paris circa Carine’s reign. Pretty please.