The Sequel: My name is Milla, and I’m an addict.

I’ve given up sugar again, this time for lent and possibly forever. I have the worst headache you can imagine and my throat feels swollen. All I want to do is to go back to bed because I cannot crave sugar if I’m sleeping, can I? Last night I screamed at my husband for eating chocolate in the house. As I paced up and down, he stared at me with this what-happened-to-my-wife look and nervously laughed while saying “Do you realise what’s going on here? You’re getting angry about chocolate!”. Clearly, I wasn’t going to give in so I stormed off to bed imagining the smell of the chocolate.

This morning, I complained about everything. Every single thing. My husband eventually snapped back and yelled that I’m like a smoker giving up. All I could think is at least a smoker can smell other people’s cigarettes. Needless to say, we’ve spent the day in silence. He’s just left for a walk. I feel bad about how I’m behaving but I really have no control. My head is pounding, my hands are trembling, my neck is sore and all I keep thinking about is making lemon curd and eating the entire contents of the jar before hubby returns. I just made some porridge with chopped banana, pumpkin seeds and some raisins but it’s made me feel worse, and my stomach is spinning. I’m teary, I need a hug but I’m being such a cow, nobody would hug me now.

In addition to the headaches and beeped off husband, I feel so nauseous and sensitive to light. Time to crawl back into bed and pray I wake up in a better mood. What scares me most is that these symptoms are caused by sugar-withdrawal. Sugar!! How can this be possible?

This is it for me and sugar. I can’t do this again. I think my husband will agree.

20 Comments

  1. 13 March 2011 / 17:59

    It’s a little bit funny…your body wants that damn sugar! Did you try watermellon with cinnamon sprinkled on? It’s supposed to curb/satisfy the sugar craving.
    This is your big systa talkin’…I know you do not want to hear this right now but what about eating sugar in moderation? Babe, Jesus does not want you to be miserable.
    Cupcake
    xo

    • Milla
      Author
      16 March 2011 / 10:17

      “Jesus does not want you to be miserable” is up there in the quotations of 2011! So cute!!

      I cannot do moderation Cupcake, it just doesn’t exist in my world. All or nothing. I’m eating fruit so getting plenty of natural sugar but that’s it. Is it odd that I really miss the smell of chocolate?

      x

      PS – once melon season arrives, will definitely try.

  2. 13 March 2011 / 18:26

    Aww… poor you! Stay strong, and keeping eating plenty of fruit. That should help.

    • Milla
      Author
      16 March 2011 / 10:18

      Thanks Marissa, fruit is my friend. My best friend right now!

      x

  3. 13 March 2011 / 22:41

    Oh Milla…

    I will hug you!

    Given how much chocolate I eat, I probably smell of the stuff so you can get a little vicarious (guilt-free!) hit. :0)

    I remember reading your previous post and cannot believe how terrible the withdrawal seems to be. It actually makes me scared to try.

    Sarah x

    • Milla
      Author
      16 March 2011 / 10:35

      It’s been a week now and you know Sarah, I’m starting to feel better. I’m not saying that if chocolate appeared I’d turn away, but I’m no longer suffering from headaches or rummaging through the cupboards hoping to find a biscuit.

      It’s like any detox – there’s a period of ‘pain’ and then one moves on and feels better. Much better. I know I’m en-route to that stage and that keeps me focused.

      xx

  4. 14 March 2011 / 11:22

    Wow!! I didn’t know that there was such a thing as sugar withdrawal! It sounds pretty serious but try to hang in there! I must say, you are a better than me- I’m not good at giving anything up… So I never do. 😉

    • Milla
      Author
      16 March 2011 / 10:39

      Hehe, that’s a good way of dealing with it! I’m over the worst so onwards and upwards.

      x

  5. everydayglamour
    14 March 2011 / 12:07

    Ok, I’m an expert at this! So here’s how I did it–no raisins for a while, drink a ton of coffee and or green tea as a replacement behavior, and tell yourself that you can have as much “savory” food as you want right now–(and by “savory” I mean greasy.) Eventually you can wean off the coffee if you become addicted to that, ha ha! “I used to be a heroin addict, now I’m a methadone addict.”–from the movie Annie Hall

    • Milla
      Author
      15 March 2011 / 22:54

      Green tea is our friend Kate, our very best friend! I have to admit that I don’t really like greasy food. Weird I know! A pizza twice a year, yes but other than that, grease just doesn’t work for me. I have noticed that this week’s usual salad lunch has included more sweet things – beetroot, capsicum, cherry tomatoes. It’s a process…

      x

  6. 14 March 2011 / 12:32

    As a fellow sugar addict and chocoholic, I really sympathize and applaud your efforts! Any thoughts in keeping a happy middle ground, so instead of swearing off sugar all together, perhaps you could just avoid the processed stuff? Doesn’t our body need some natural sugars anyways? Just seems like life is too short to never eat a macaron or pain au chocolat (sorry if this isn’t helping…:)

    • Milla
      Author
      15 March 2011 / 22:17

      Other than chocolate and the occasional dessert, I don’t eat processed anything. The problem is that I cannot just have a piece of chocolate, I have eat the entire 200g! Once or rather, if I feel like I have control again, I will treat myself to a macaron, don’t you worry! : )

      x

  7. 14 March 2011 / 12:34

    And when I tell people sugar is poison they don’t believe me. Though am an addict as well. And I can completely understand what you are going through. Good thing is that it won’t last too long, a week tops. So prepare your husband, power through it and you’re a free woman after that. And much much healthier.
    and love the tips girls gave, gonna use em. 🙂
    M

    • Milla
      Author
      15 March 2011 / 19:01

      Thanks Maya. I’m trying to stay focused on how I’ll feel after. Knowing that the pain is worth it in the end… I just cannot go through this again. It’s really tough and the exhaustion as my body adjusts is phew…

      You ladies are keeping me on the straight & narrow – merci!

      x

  8. 14 March 2011 / 17:51

    I need some more information…. remind me why you’re doing this? I think I eat quite a lot of sugar, but I wonder about the benefits of cutting down – I don’t think I could give up completely though… I gave up caffeine for a while. but I was drinking waaaay too much, all I needed to do really was moderate it rather than be an all or nothing kinda person. Are you an all or nothing person too, Milla?

    http://www.styleonthecouch.wordpress.com

    • Milla
      Author
      15 March 2011 / 18:57

      That’s the question!! To regain control over my life, to cleanse my body, to feel lighter and brighter, to get my husband to commit murder

      All or nothing. Don’t give me a piece of chocolate, give me the damn bar or don’t offer me at all!

      x

  9. 14 March 2011 / 20:56

    Darling you can do it!

    I did it and everytime I eat white sugar now, I feel so weird!
    Have you tried agave sirop to sweeten things? And for cookies do you know Billy’s farm?

    Courage!

    LCT

    • Milla
      Author
      15 March 2011 / 18:54

      Thanks for the encouragement my love! Today is a good day, haven’t craved sugar once. I prefer to stay away from biscuits and cake, and other than my porridge, which I sweeten with honey, I don’t add sweetener. It’s more about have a piece of chocolate or a whole boxes of macarons…

      I’ll keep you posted.

      x

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